You can do it

How to create a habit in 3 hard steps

Please note the word “hard” in the sentence above. That was not a mistake. Often times we read articles and look for things like “3 easy steps to…”, however, in today’s post, I will not be sharing easy steps to create habits to make your life better, but hard steps. Hard AND Doable. Why? Because changing and creating habits is a hard thing to do, and you are not going to feel like it, but you can and if you are determined to thrive, you can create positive habits. 

Here’s a simple explanation of how your brain works when it comes to habits. Cells in your brain that fire together, wire together, meaning, the more you do something, the more natural or automatic it will become to do. The opposite is also true. If you stop doing something, the connection or cells in your brain become weaker. Think about the simple task of typing on a computer. You learned at one point how to do it by taking a typing class and now, you can do it with your eyes closed, just like most people who know how to type don’t need to look at the keyboard, but at the computer screen. The more you do something, the more likely it is that you will do it again in the future.

This is true of habits you want to create or change in your life.  The first step is always the hardest, but you know what? You can do hard things.

1. Change your core beliefs. These are things you believe about yourself, sometimes without even knowing it, this is your critical self speaking out false statements such as “It’s not worth it” or “I’ll fail anyways” or “I’m an idiot”. Pay attention to that voice. When it comes up, replace those thoughts with “I’m worth it”, “Success is possible” and “I’m capable”. Whole-heartedly believing these things will change what you do.
2. Don’t obey what you feel. You won’t feel like working out when you’re trying to get healthy, you won’t feel like smiling when you’re in a bad mood, and you won’t feel like taking deep breathes when you’re anxious. Do it anyways. 
3. Keep doing the thing. Whatever habit you want to build in your life, keep doing it until it becomes effortless. The first few times you act on a new habit, it will feel unnatural and forced, because, again you are creating a new connection in your brain. This is how you learn a new skill or create a new habit. Keep doing the thing, and don’t stop till it becomes effortless. 

If you would like in depth support and work through the above, please contact me. 

Blog Disclaimer: 

This blog is for informational and educational purposes only. No therapist-client relationship arises from this blog. The information provided and any comments or opinions expressed are intended for general discussion and educational purposes only. They should not be relied upon for decision-making in any specific case. There is no substitute for consultation with a qualified mental health specialist/counselor who could best evaluate and advise based on a careful evaluation. It is understood that no guarantee or warranty arises from the information provided or discussed on this blog.